How beautiful was your wedding day? Was it everything that you’d hoped for? Family, friends, flashing lights with the sights and sounds that hypnotized your senses. Afterwards, a romantic getaway reminded you both of your fiery affection for one another. Those breath-taking moments that produced glamorous photos for all your social media platforms to envy. Maybe you’re a year in, or perhaps even 3, 5, 10 or more! But now, something feels different. The “spark”, that sizzle and infectious energy that led you to believe you’d finally found your happily ever after has dwindled and started to fade away. Now what?

Have you resorted to reconnecting with past flames, or explored the sensation of new ones? Have you developed new interests that siphon your once devoted attention and draw you away from your love? Has romance been replaced with tension and resentment? If those endless kisses and gentle touches have dissipated from your marriage, you’re not alone.

Many husbands and wives can attest to experiencing similar happenings at some point in their marriages. They confess to feelings of regret, doubt, loneliness, and fear. Some spouses may believe that their significant other has lost interest and are no longer attracted to them. Regardless, both parties are left in state of emotional and mental disarray which is the opposite of what a marriage was ever intended to be in the eyes of God.

If you and your spouse have found yourselves in this place, it’s a good time to hit the pause button. The road to rediscovery and healing can be long and arduous. Nonetheless, if there is anything left within you that wants to begin again in your marriage, then it is not too late.  A good place to begin on this journey is with you. If you’re reading this, then chances are you are searching for answers, guidance, or support at this junction in your marriage. 

This is a good time to take a self-inventory of where you are, and who you are. Often, individuals place a ton of blame on their spouse and rarely ever allow those same wagging fingers to point back at their own face. Please note, if any form of abuse has taken place in your marriage, this information is not intended for you take responsibility for any abuse your spouse is inflicting. If you are experiencing, physical, sexual, mental, emotional, or financial abuse then it is imperative that you seek resources for help immediately. If your marital dilemmas are outside of these instances, then a self-inventory is good first step. 

Here are a few things to consider as you begin your self-inventory and enter into a time of self-reflection:

• What do I believe the problem(s) is?
• Be specific- write it out if necessary

• What part have I played in contributing to this problem?
• Be honest- take accountability for your actions

• What have I done to help repair the damage done?
• Be specific

• Am I willing to continue working on what I can control to reduce and or mitigate this problem?
• If yes, why? If no, why not?

• Do I believe we could benefit from professional and or spiritual support?
• If yes, then it's time to explore your options.

You’ve reached a pivotal moment in the history of your life. The choices you make concerning your marriage will indeed have lasting effects on both you, your spouse, your family, your friends, and your community. With each day that you choose to combat the negativity and disparity that has seeped into your marriage, you are making the conscious effort to go to battle for and not against the one you love.

Good Read Recommendation: A Lifelong Love by Gary Thomas available on Amazon.com.